Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
