I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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