Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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