It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
