He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
