he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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