I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
