is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
