apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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