2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
