i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
