Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
