LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
