In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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