The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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