what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
