I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize