I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
