So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
