smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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