I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
