i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
