just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
