I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
