A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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