The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
