Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
