i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
