Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i think i have two assholes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
