he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Houston, we have a blender
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
