Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
