i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
