she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
