dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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