Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
