So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
