I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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