Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
