Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
