You really coming over, don't trick.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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