If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
