He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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