she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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