talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
