Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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