i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude i'm inner monologue high
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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