tell your sister to shave her snatch
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize