Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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