I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
