i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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