I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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