Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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