i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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