i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You work out of a Hotel?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
