If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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