I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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