I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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