i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
