ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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