my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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