One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
