WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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