i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
