if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
