There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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