So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
